| GREG-STRANGE.COM |
"If you haven't found something strange during the
day, it hasn't been much of a day." -- John A. Wheeler
day, it hasn't been much of a day." -- John A. Wheeler
PROVIDING SUBSTANTIVE COMMENTARY ON THE
PEOPLE, POLITICS, EVENTS AND ABSURDITIES OF
OUR TIME. SERVED UP WITH ACERBIC WIT, YOU
SHOULD FIND IT QUITE SATISFYING.
PEOPLE, POLITICS, EVENTS AND ABSURDITIES OF
OUR TIME. SERVED UP WITH ACERBIC WIT, YOU
SHOULD FIND IT QUITE SATISFYING.
Welcome To Woodyworld
"The warmongers who stole the White House . . . have
hijacked a nation's grief and turned it into a perpetual war on
any non-white country they choose to describe as terrorist."
"The war against terrorism is terrorism. The whole thing is
just bullsh*t."
"This is a racist and imperialist war."
Quiz time. What Einsteinian individual made the
anti-American statements listed above? Here are your
multiple choices:
A.) Alec Baldwin; B.) Barbara Streisand; C.) Martin Sheen;
D.) Rob Reiner; E.) Susan Sarandon; F.) none of the above.
Correct answer: F.
Surprise! None of the usual suspects this time. It was
actually someone who makes all the members of this
Hollywood zoo crew look like towering geopolitical thinkers, if
that's possible. Is your curiosity sufficiently piqued? Okay, it
was the cartoonish and wildly emotive actor, Woody Harrelson.
You all know Woody. He played the part of a numbskull,
appropriately enough, on the television show "Cheers." After
that, he moved on to the big time, starring in such celluloid
masterpieces as "Natural Born Killers" and "The People Vs.
Larry Flynt." These days he's in London emoting on stage for
live audiences and loving every minute of it.
Woody loves the city of London and its people, its parks, the
theatre. And apparently he has no hard feelings about having
been arrested there back in June after going berserk in the back
of a taxi. Cabbie Les Dartnell had just picked Woody up when,
moments later, "I turned round and he was kicking the inside
of my taxi. He had suddenly gone completely bonkers."
After escaping from the confines of the cab, he eventually
led fourteen police officers, five police cars and two vans on a
merry chase around jolly ol' London town until he was caught,
restrained and hauled off to the hoosegow. What made him do
it? Nobody knows. We can only surmise that it had something
to do with a very immediate urge to in some way physically
express his very volatile and artistically temperamental
feelings.
But all is forgiven in London and Woody has been inspired
to branch out into yet another creative endeavor, that of
writing anti-American screeds for eager British scandal sheets.
And thus, his journalistic magnum opus, "I'm An American
Tired of American Lies."
Apparently, if you are a British tabloid, your definition of
hitting the mother lode is finding a whack-job American
celebrity itching to write an article trashing his own country.
When you find that, all standards of journalistic excellence, or
even mediocrity, are tossed out the proverbial window. Just get
the piece of dreck into print and onto the Internet, pronto!
All the quotes from above, except one, are taken from
Woody's article, a snarling little nastygram to America in
which he concludes that his home country is the root of all evil
in the world. He does, however, lay out his personal plan for
achieving planetwide utopia in our time, so the article isn't a
complete downer.
If the Woodman is running things he cuts the military
budget in half, he gets rid of all nuclear power plants, he
punishes the planet-raping corporations, he saves the
rainforests, he discovers energy sources that make oil obsolete,
he legalizes controlled substances (dope, in other words) and
he charms evil, aggressive dictators around the globe into
becoming model one-world citizens. Nice, huh? Call it
"Woodyworld."
Now, where do you even begin to respond to naivete -- all
right, abject stupidity -- on such a colossal scale? Well, you
don't. Why should you? Woody has basically the same opinion
of America as the deranged killers who attacked us on 9/11.
Are you going to try to change their minds? Same deal with the
Woodhead.
So, he's an American tired of American lies. Well, I'm an
American tired of dimwitted American celebrities whose only
talents are vomiting up their overwrought emotions and
babbling their brain-dead opinions for anyone who will provide
them with a stage for their self-centered little dramas.
But this is America and because we place such a high value
on freedom of speech, we all need to be tolerant of dissenting
opinions, even when they come from infuriating little snots like
Woody Harrelson. Sometimes the cost of freedom is almost
unbearable, is it not?
"The warmongers who stole the White House . . . have
hijacked a nation's grief and turned it into a perpetual war on
any non-white country they choose to describe as terrorist."
"The war against terrorism is terrorism. The whole thing is
just bullsh*t."
"This is a racist and imperialist war."
Quiz time. What Einsteinian individual made the
anti-American statements listed above? Here are your
multiple choices:
A.) Alec Baldwin; B.) Barbara Streisand; C.) Martin Sheen;
D.) Rob Reiner; E.) Susan Sarandon; F.) none of the above.
Correct answer: F.
Surprise! None of the usual suspects this time. It was
actually someone who makes all the members of this
Hollywood zoo crew look like towering geopolitical thinkers, if
that's possible. Is your curiosity sufficiently piqued? Okay, it
was the cartoonish and wildly emotive actor, Woody Harrelson.
You all know Woody. He played the part of a numbskull,
appropriately enough, on the television show "Cheers." After
that, he moved on to the big time, starring in such celluloid
masterpieces as "Natural Born Killers" and "The People Vs.
Larry Flynt." These days he's in London emoting on stage for
live audiences and loving every minute of it.
Woody loves the city of London and its people, its parks, the
theatre. And apparently he has no hard feelings about having
been arrested there back in June after going berserk in the back
of a taxi. Cabbie Les Dartnell had just picked Woody up when,
moments later, "I turned round and he was kicking the inside
of my taxi. He had suddenly gone completely bonkers."
After escaping from the confines of the cab, he eventually
led fourteen police officers, five police cars and two vans on a
merry chase around jolly ol' London town until he was caught,
restrained and hauled off to the hoosegow. What made him do
it? Nobody knows. We can only surmise that it had something
to do with a very immediate urge to in some way physically
express his very volatile and artistically temperamental
feelings.
But all is forgiven in London and Woody has been inspired
to branch out into yet another creative endeavor, that of
writing anti-American screeds for eager British scandal sheets.
And thus, his journalistic magnum opus, "I'm An American
Tired of American Lies."
Apparently, if you are a British tabloid, your definition of
hitting the mother lode is finding a whack-job American
celebrity itching to write an article trashing his own country.
When you find that, all standards of journalistic excellence, or
even mediocrity, are tossed out the proverbial window. Just get
the piece of dreck into print and onto the Internet, pronto!
All the quotes from above, except one, are taken from
Woody's article, a snarling little nastygram to America in
which he concludes that his home country is the root of all evil
in the world. He does, however, lay out his personal plan for
achieving planetwide utopia in our time, so the article isn't a
complete downer.
If the Woodman is running things he cuts the military
budget in half, he gets rid of all nuclear power plants, he
punishes the planet-raping corporations, he saves the
rainforests, he discovers energy sources that make oil obsolete,
he legalizes controlled substances (dope, in other words) and
he charms evil, aggressive dictators around the globe into
becoming model one-world citizens. Nice, huh? Call it
"Woodyworld."
Now, where do you even begin to respond to naivete -- all
right, abject stupidity -- on such a colossal scale? Well, you
don't. Why should you? Woody has basically the same opinion
of America as the deranged killers who attacked us on 9/11.
Are you going to try to change their minds? Same deal with the
Woodhead.
So, he's an American tired of American lies. Well, I'm an
American tired of dimwitted American celebrities whose only
talents are vomiting up their overwrought emotions and
babbling their brain-dead opinions for anyone who will provide
them with a stage for their self-centered little dramas.
But this is America and because we place such a high value
on freedom of speech, we all need to be tolerant of dissenting
opinions, even when they come from infuriating little snots like
Woody Harrelson. Sometimes the cost of freedom is almost
unbearable, is it not?