| GREG-STRANGE.COM |
"If you haven't found something strange during the
day, it hasn't been much of a day." -- John A. Wheeler
day, it hasn't been much of a day." -- John A. Wheeler
PROVIDING SUBSTANTIVE COMMENTARY ON THE
PEOPLE, POLITICS, EVENTS AND ABSURDITIES OF
OUR TIME. SERVED UP WITH ACERBIC WIT, YOU
SHOULD FIND IT QUITE SATISFYING.
PEOPLE, POLITICS, EVENTS AND ABSURDITIES OF
OUR TIME. SERVED UP WITH ACERBIC WIT, YOU
SHOULD FIND IT QUITE SATISFYING.
Excuse My French
"Under no circumstances will we transmit a piece of
evidence if it could be used to back up a death sentence." ---
Marylise Lebranchu, French justice minister, responding to the
U.S. announcement that it would seek the death penalty for
Zacarias Moussaoui, the French citizen accused in the 9/11
attacks.
As if anybody needed another excuse to shudder with
contempt at the mere mention of the word "France," now we've
been handed one on a silver platter. France has warned
Washington that it could review its cooperation with the Sept.
11 probe if the U.S. seeks the death penalty against the
above-mentioned Moussaoui.
Boy, that's rich. When was the last time France cooperated
with us on anything? Let's see now . . . Was it that time in 1944
when they cooperated with our liberation of them from the
Nazis? I'm trying to remember . . .
So now France is pitching another of its famous hissy fits
over the possibility that information gleaned there could help
put one of its beloved citizens on death row for his part in the
most heinous act of terrorism in human history. Well, ain't
that a slap in the face with a stale baguette! Fellow Americans,
we are faced with a rather stark situation. Without France's
cooperation, we might as well run up the white flag and
surrender to al-Qaeda right now.
Isn't France sort of like that sniveling little kid you knew in
grammar school who ate paste and wore the glasses with the
Coke bottle lens? You knew the kid couldn't help being a
pathetic little geek, but you just wanted to slap him anyway.
Now, I suppose if the French have been helping us in any
capacity at all it must have been informational. It sure
wouldn't involve anything like actual physical fighting where
somebody could get hurt or even killed. The French may get
violently passionate over the proper viscosity of a Hollandaise
sauce, but they're not about to get involved in a shooting war
against brutish, uncivilized terrorists.
Of course, to them, we Americans are as barbaric as the
terrorists. I'm not exactly sure why they feel this way, but it
must have something to do with their supercilious attitude
towards anyone who isn't, well, French. This is especially true
of Parisians who have simply had it up to here with loud
American tourists who stamp up and down their elegant
boulevards in Bermuda shorts, Hawaiian shirts and fanny
packs, snapping inane pictures and asking stupid questions of
the locals in their barbaric American English.
It probably also has to do with our export of fast food,
Disney characters and the like, which the French, in their
infinitely superior culturedness, consider cultural pollution.
The fast food I can understand, but what's so wrong with
Mickey Mouse? For goodness sakes, they practically worship
Jerry Lewis, one of the most irritating Americans that ever
lived. Explain that one.
But trying to figure out how to distinguish between what the
French are able to tolerate and what makes their haughty
blood boil is an exercise in futility. You're never going to do it.
The real point is, who cares? In this day and age they are as
irrelevant as Bulgaria, or Kyrgyzstan, or Upper Slobbovia. The
only thing that makes France even faintly relevant is its
membership in the world's nuclear club.
But even that can be pretty much shrugged off. If they are so
insanely adamant in their opposition to the death penalty that
they can't condone it even for the world's worst mass
murderers, then how could they ever push the nuclear button
knowing that it would unavoidably kill thousands or millions
of innocent civilians?
Let's face it. Everyone, from the dizzying heights of upper
crust French society to the lowliest nomadic Bedouin camel
herder, knows that the real deterrent against any invasion of
France is conventional American military power, end of story.
But here's France threatening to withdraw its piddling
cooperation with our war on terrorism because of its stubborn
stand against the death penalty. What is wrong with these
people? Have they completely forgotten how we saved them
from the nightmare of the Third Reich?
As my grandmother used to say, it's enough to make a
preacher cuss--and me too. @%$*&#!%$@^#!$@#$%@#@%*!
Sorry. Please excuse my French.
"Under no circumstances will we transmit a piece of
evidence if it could be used to back up a death sentence." ---
Marylise Lebranchu, French justice minister, responding to the
U.S. announcement that it would seek the death penalty for
Zacarias Moussaoui, the French citizen accused in the 9/11
attacks.
As if anybody needed another excuse to shudder with
contempt at the mere mention of the word "France," now we've
been handed one on a silver platter. France has warned
Washington that it could review its cooperation with the Sept.
11 probe if the U.S. seeks the death penalty against the
above-mentioned Moussaoui.
Boy, that's rich. When was the last time France cooperated
with us on anything? Let's see now . . . Was it that time in 1944
when they cooperated with our liberation of them from the
Nazis? I'm trying to remember . . .
So now France is pitching another of its famous hissy fits
over the possibility that information gleaned there could help
put one of its beloved citizens on death row for his part in the
most heinous act of terrorism in human history. Well, ain't
that a slap in the face with a stale baguette! Fellow Americans,
we are faced with a rather stark situation. Without France's
cooperation, we might as well run up the white flag and
surrender to al-Qaeda right now.
Isn't France sort of like that sniveling little kid you knew in
grammar school who ate paste and wore the glasses with the
Coke bottle lens? You knew the kid couldn't help being a
pathetic little geek, but you just wanted to slap him anyway.
Now, I suppose if the French have been helping us in any
capacity at all it must have been informational. It sure
wouldn't involve anything like actual physical fighting where
somebody could get hurt or even killed. The French may get
violently passionate over the proper viscosity of a Hollandaise
sauce, but they're not about to get involved in a shooting war
against brutish, uncivilized terrorists.
Of course, to them, we Americans are as barbaric as the
terrorists. I'm not exactly sure why they feel this way, but it
must have something to do with their supercilious attitude
towards anyone who isn't, well, French. This is especially true
of Parisians who have simply had it up to here with loud
American tourists who stamp up and down their elegant
boulevards in Bermuda shorts, Hawaiian shirts and fanny
packs, snapping inane pictures and asking stupid questions of
the locals in their barbaric American English.
It probably also has to do with our export of fast food,
Disney characters and the like, which the French, in their
infinitely superior culturedness, consider cultural pollution.
The fast food I can understand, but what's so wrong with
Mickey Mouse? For goodness sakes, they practically worship
Jerry Lewis, one of the most irritating Americans that ever
lived. Explain that one.
But trying to figure out how to distinguish between what the
French are able to tolerate and what makes their haughty
blood boil is an exercise in futility. You're never going to do it.
The real point is, who cares? In this day and age they are as
irrelevant as Bulgaria, or Kyrgyzstan, or Upper Slobbovia. The
only thing that makes France even faintly relevant is its
membership in the world's nuclear club.
But even that can be pretty much shrugged off. If they are so
insanely adamant in their opposition to the death penalty that
they can't condone it even for the world's worst mass
murderers, then how could they ever push the nuclear button
knowing that it would unavoidably kill thousands or millions
of innocent civilians?
Let's face it. Everyone, from the dizzying heights of upper
crust French society to the lowliest nomadic Bedouin camel
herder, knows that the real deterrent against any invasion of
France is conventional American military power, end of story.
But here's France threatening to withdraw its piddling
cooperation with our war on terrorism because of its stubborn
stand against the death penalty. What is wrong with these
people? Have they completely forgotten how we saved them
from the nightmare of the Third Reich?
As my grandmother used to say, it's enough to make a
preacher cuss--and me too. @%$*&#!%$@^#!$@#$%@#@%*!
Sorry. Please excuse my French.